Post #100: The Dance

maxresdefaultI never really expected to be here. But I am so very happy to have arrived.

Four years.
Every other week.
Upwards of 70,000 words.
One hundred posts.

But as I’ve staked my by-weekly Tuesday by Tuesday way through these writings, I’ve found that as I’ve moved forward, I’ve gained so much by looking back. By slowing down. By simply wondering. By just thinking deeply. In a way I feel as if I’ve regained parts of myself that I didn’t even know were lost. Moreover, I feel somehow that I am putting myself back together in ways that I still find a bit mystifying. But I’m grateful it’s happening.

Over the past week I did something that I probably should have done ages ago but didn’t: that is to simply read each blog post once again. Starting at the beginning all the way to now. After writing each post I’ve never before reread them as I’ve always been propelled by the next idea, eager as always to put fingers to the keyboard.

But I did finally reread them, feeling like an guest at my own party. But an honored guest, one who was just handed a flute of champagne, a dish of chocolates, a bowl of wild strawberries. This has been a pleasure.

There are as many reasons to write as there are writers. But I think all writers, whether good or pedestrian or exceptional (think Virginia Woolf or Jane Austen or M.F..K.Fisher or any of your own favorites) all are truly are linked by one extraordinary idea. That is, if one writes one is somehow joining in the conversation of thought, of ideas, of glorious words that stretch back over time and through time. If one writes it feels as if one is part of some magnificent ongoing relay race, each runner fervently doing his or her part, giving all in the hopes of handing the baton up to another to keep moving forward, all for the team.

It’s an honor, no matter how mediocre or how good one’s work is, to simply to try to add to that conversation. Then too, there is so often buoyant bliss, jubilant joy in just putting words on paper. The effort is worthwhile.

In reading over my own work I am struck by how supremely happy so many memories are and how grateful I am to have snared them. Each year becomes studded with wondrous, memorable days of birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, successes. They are the ongoing treasured jewels of the crown of each year:

May 13, August 30, November 17, June 23, July 7, November 6, April 30, September 6, March 9, July 20, April 7, May 9, January 4, December 21, July 15

But what are the special days yet to come? What unforetold successes are there yet to be: marriages, births, anniversaries, celebrations? What children will be born, what happinesses yet to happen? How wonderful to think that they will all be there, embedded somewhere in those 365 days of the coming years.

Since we do not know this, which days to come will be hallowed and celebrated as we move forward, I propose then it makes sense to quietly celebrate them all. I like doing things in advance.

In other words, to my mind there is no such thing as a “regular” day. Or, if you choose to turn it inside out, regular days are celebratory days.

My mind turns once again to Matisse’s radiant The Dance. The women cavort in a never-ending circle. They dance with joyful abandon. But a space is open. A hand reaches out. Grasp it.

Come join The Dance. See you soon. And once again, thank you all for reading along with me.


10 thoughts on “Post #100: The Dance

  1. A toast of cheer to 70,000 wonderful and inspiring words. It has been an honor to read each post and follow your journey. May you celebrate and dance each and every day.


  2. Congratulations on one hundred posts! And I love the idea of going back over our posts and reading them again. It’s so easy to forget what we have written, and so affirming to read posts that still speak to us. I think you are so right about writing being part of an ongoing conversation. Writing down our thoughts and ideas is a way of sharing our very best with the world, and that is no small thing.

    I sincerely hope you write another hundred posts. They are all good, but I think the one that got me hooked on your blog was the one about your mother-in-law’s death, titled something along the lines of Pushing Beyond the Red Door. (I’m quite sure I’ve mangled that title, even though I remember the post perfectly.) You are a very gifted writer……


    • Dear Ann,

      Thanks so very much! I so value you both as a reader and a writer. I’m also deeply touched that you remember that particular post as it has a lot of meaning for me as well. That one was #63, Yahrzeit, but you are completely right about the line about pushing beyond the red door! Your memory is astounding. I am proud we are in the same club, those who love words, those who are not quite whole unless we’re writing. Here’s to us both continuing onward. Looking forward. As ever, C



  3. Your posts are a treasure Cindy!!!
    Thoughtful and insightful….
    Thank you for taking your time to share with us!


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